Things People Say to You When You're Gluten Intolerant

So, this post may be a little sassier than it needs to be... BUT anyone with a gluten intolerance will totally be able to relate to it!  Honestly, most of the time I don't mind people asking me about my diet... it's when they start complaining about it that it bothers me.  Trust me, bitch.. This is way more inconvenient for me than it is for you.

Everyone needs a little bit of a rant now and then - so here's a few things that bother me when people ask me about being gluten free and I'm feeling sassy!


1. Are you really though?

*insert eye roll*

Yes, yes I am.  Why would anyone ever pretend to be gluten intolerant?  Gluten is delicious.  It just hates me.  Also I know I'm not coeliac, they're separate things, but they both exist.  You don't need to tell me this.





2. What happens if you eat gluten?
... answering this will make both of us feel uncomfortable.  Use your head.




3. OH MY GOD. Does that mean you can't have cake/bread/pasta/every delicious food ever?

Yes, that's what it means.. Thank you for reminding me.




4. I couldn't do it. 

........ okay, well if you prefer constant pain, bloating, fatigue, headaches, bad skin (do I even need to continue?) to cake, that's your call.





5. What do you eat?



.... Basically.  Nah I'm kidding! A lot of food is gluten free and there's pretty much a gluten free alternative to everything now anyway...  Apart from in Mexico, in Mexico I mainly survived off potatoes.




6. Can't you just have a little bit though?



Yeah, and why don't you drink a little bit of bleach and then we'll both just lie here in pain?




7. I don't actually understand what gluten is.

Gluten is the protein in wheat, which means it's in all wheat products.  The sneaky bastard also crops up in dressings, sauces and other unexpected locations, but the basic thing to remember is flour is made from wheat.  If in doubt, just say to yourself "was this made from flour?" instead of shoving doughnuts in my face and saying "YOU CAN'T EAT THIS, CAN YOU?".

Side note: Wheat is not the same as every grain ever... I can eat rice.  It's also not the same as carbs.  I eat potatoes.  Lots of potatoes.... I'm eternally thankful for the many ways you can eat potatoes.




8. You're so high maintenance...

Okay... well... I guess, in some ways... but... I mean... that's still kind of rude, dude. I didn't chose the gluten free life, the gluten free life chose me.  I'm way more fun when I'm a 'picky eater' than when I eat bread...... trust me.